My Voice – two

The sun is setting. The windows are open. The white noise of a fan blowing the cold air from downstairs to the upstairs is soothing. My parents are talking. My siblings are playing basketball. And here I am, wondering what the hell I just did.

I quit my job today. Sorta kinda. I rambled along trying to be clear to my boss why I was quitting. I walked out of his office thinking I might be more confused then I made him to be. It’s one of those times where you look dumb founded into outer space and all your mind can do is blink on and off with “stupid, stupid, stupid.”

Now I am back at my house sitting at the dining room table overlooking the lake and still wondering if I really got my point across.

How many times do we have something important we want to share? An aching need to really get our message out there? I felt like a blubbering idiot and wishing with all my heart that my mouth would quit talking and somehow my boss would understand everything I was trying to convey.

Out of it all, I did what I needed to do. Heart racing, stomach churning, body sweating. I said what was filling my mind and bursting out my veins. I said it. That was the point of all this.

Your hands tremble. Your voice catches. The vomit is sitting in the back of your throat. And yet there is this pressing need to let out everything that you’ve wanted to say for so long.

Well my friends, let me tell you. It’s time. Don’t go walking around being pulled around by a leash. You have reason and purpose behind your name and you have something to offer. Take a moment and reflect on all of the situations you’ve got yourself trapped in and start removing them one by one. There is a way!

I felt like I was being crowded in on every side by walls that were to high for me to climb. By taking the first step and letting my boss know I had something that needed to be said, I was empowered to finish all the way through and actually say what I wanted to say.

It’s so refreshing, relieving and freeing!

Take some time and reflect on these questions as you make a mental list of the situations and things you are in right now that are burdening you and eating away at your soul.

Is this really me?

Does this motivate me to live a better life?

Am I benefiting from and being an asset to those I am with?

How am I good at what I do?

What do I love about the people I am with?

Is this going to be my career for the rest of my life?

What do I think about doing every day?

Those are just a few. But they help. I promise. 🙂




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