I figured out what I am: A gypsy.
How else can I describe myself other than to say that down deep in my soul I crave a journey. An adventure. Dangerous and exotic. Exiting and filled with unknowns.
I was asked today “Whats Next?” I looked at them blankly. “I have no idea.”
Now back at the dining table I am smiling and anxious to begin this life of freedom. This life of unknowns. Striving for something greater everyday. Knowing that I can and will find it. I must be looking and I must be ready.
I read a book that mentioned that deep within us is the desire for something great. We are always searching for it. It is as if we are looking for something that we’ve seen before and yet have not seen with our physical eyes.
There has been a continual desire in me to always say yes. When we say no, we lose so many opportunities for something great.
Some things I relate to regarding the gypsy life:
They aren’t settlers.
They love their clans, groups, families….
They are innovative and work for the benefit of people
They don’t hide their natural talents
They love Children
I don’t mind the life of a nomad. Traveling from place to place looking for different pastures, or shelters. I find it intriguing and exhilarating.
Not every one understands of course. I wish I could just go to the places I so desperately want to. But money comes into play and of course all the means to get to these places. It would be great to be free from all the musts that come before a decision. I must have money. I must have a plan….
If only I were brave enough to walk through the day asking for work at places that I knew could pay someone something for a little help. And then move onto the next town.
What would you do? You ask?
I would meet so many new people. Hear so many stories. I’d be able to find the average and follow the adventurous. There are so many personalities out there. So many dreams. Could I see dreams fulfilled? Could I see dreams begin? Could I live out my own dream?
If only I wasn’t so flighty. I’ve been called that a lot. But I wonder if my flighty-ness has been the means to get me places. In my effort to say YES as much as I can, I’ve become “flighty?” Maybe that’s it.
I only take adventures when I know in my heart that it’s something I want to do and am meant to do. If I feel sick about it or cautious I usually say no.
I can’t be stuck in a job that locks me indoors. I don’t want to be trapped in knowing that I can’t say yes to every thing that comes my way. I want to be able to be free. I can hear the criticism and the annoyance from others around saying that it’s important to grow up and quit dreaming.
I don’t want to stop dreaming. I know that I’m made for an adventure. I won’t settle. I won’t stop.
I know that I’m not a settler. I will travel. I will journey. I will have an adventure.
I am a gypsy.