I love that you love me good

This song is inspired by Lee Brices song “Hard to Love”. I dedicate this post to my precious mama. Love you Mom. 🙂

I am a short fuse, I am a wrecking ball.

Days go by and I am still bitter, frustrated, angry, short tempered, ugly in attitude and character and yet you still love me. Me, the one who yelled at you for making my bed. Me, the one who glared at you when you bragged about my accomplishments. Me, the one who blamed you for my poor choices. Me, the one who cursed at you for even creating me.

I’m hard to love, hard to love and I don’t make it easy.

You still put food on the table. You send me gifts, write me notes, tell me that you love me. We dance in the kitchen, we laugh at silly things. You tell me I’m beautiful. You laugh at my jokes. You encourage me when I doubt my identity. You sit and talk with me. You know my love languages. You call me up just to hear my voice.

You’re Like a Sunday Morning, full of Grace and full of Jesus.

I tell you you’re spoiling me. I tell you I need to leave. I give you reasons to kick me around. I make it hard to keep you calm. You only nod your head and smile. You still text me at night. You tell me you love me. You say you are proud of me. You help me with the things I need even when I’m causing shit to happen around the house. You cry for me at night wishing you could take away my pain. You hold me tight when I kick and scream in anger.

I’m hard to love, hard to love, but you say that you need me.

You’re my example. You’re my hero. You are everything that I wish I could be. It hurts more to have you love me than if you hated me. Kindness kills. It really does. It starts on the inside and makes me want to kick and scream and make you hate me. Others frustrate me and I lose my temper, I tell them what I’m really thinking. I lose the friendship. The Grace you give me is something that I struggle to give out. If I were you, I couldn’t love me.

I couldn’t do it if I stood where you stood.

You continue to pour into me with love and kindness. Encourage me with words of empowerment. I can never give you what you have given me. I will always fall short. I will always be weak and yet you look past that and still pick me up in your arms and sway with me. Me, you’re little girl. The one you created and loved. You hold me tight and tell me you love me. You shower me not only with what I need but what I want. You know me better than anyone else. You know my sins and you still want to be with me. You say you can’t live without me and that I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your love. But I love that you love me. You love me, good.

I don’t deserve it but I love that you love me, good.

 

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