I cried as I read my new acquaintances blog. (She works at the camp in Montana that I absolutely am obsessed over.) Her stories hit me at my core as I remembered all the similar life lessons I went through when I traveled with The African Children’s Choir. Raising kids. Being part of a team. Being needed AND wanted.
My friend sounded so wise and mature in her words. I felt little and inadequate as I read them. She took away so many lessons and reason to love God. Didn’t I once have the same passion she had?
When I was at camp several of us got into the back of a pick up truck. One of the younger staffed girls was driving. She couldn’t get the truck to stop stalling. I had mentioned that we needed another driver. My friend watched from a distance. She came to the truck and got in the passenger seat. She didn’t instruct the girl. She gave her support. She told her she would get it and to keep trying. I sat there silent. Humiliated that my first reaction was not to support her but to move someone “better” into the position.
Is it possible to offend yourself? I did. I was offended at my lack of maturity in the situation. This woman is the same age as me, yet I felt much younger.
That night I lay in my bed and talked with God. Crying and questioning.
And it was great.
Sometimes we need a good slap in the face to remember that we can be so much better than what we allow ourselves to be. My words come out too quick. My judgments show too easily.
Sometimes All the time, I need to be reminded that life is not about me.
I was reminded by her blogs that I’ve gotten carried away with life. I had been excited before about God’s work in my me. I had been zealous for what I knew He was calling me to do. I had been passionate about how he was working with others and how I could help them in the process. Where did my maturity go?!
Like I mentioned, a slap to the face is necessary to remind me that it’s not all about me.
Lets remember. Go back and find who we are again.
Good Luck! I’m rooting for you. 🙂