I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPIENESS

I just want to be alone. I don’t want to talk to my mom and I already know she’s going to come out here and sit with me and start talking. Why don’t I want to talk? Well actually… It’s just listening. I don’t want to listen. She apologized the other day realizing that she used me as her warm body to communicate with since no one else was around. 1. Thanks Mom. 2. I know!

Last night I had a dream. The sister right above me was in my room with her little daughter and a friend. I had a smoothie from the coffee stand up the road and my little niece asked me for a sip. Knowing that a sip meant the whole drink I said “No.” Then my sister, grabbed my drink and gave it to her daughter saying that “she only wanted a sip.” I was furious. I left the room. I walked back into the room and the friend had climbed up on the top bunk and started messing up the covers. My sister and her daughter were lying in my bed just talking. Naturally, I started to cry.

“I JUST WANT MY SPACE!”

They were taking up my space, my time, MY ROOM, and they were in MY way. Yes, I sounded selfish. But WHY would that be wrong? Wasn’t this room specifically designed for me?

I’ve been told all my life that to want something for yourself is selfish. It’s wrong. It’s ungodly. But why? Why can’t I have my space and claim my time?

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2 thoughts on “I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPIENESS

  1. Amen sister. Isn’t this a freeing lesson? One I’m still working on almost every day. A mantra that helps me remember this is “Not my circus, not my monkeys” It makes me laugh and helps restore some of my own happiness. Take that alone time, it makes you better

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